This is the email I received today from daughter A:
“So…..The first 2 weeks of October is big for D & I. Today is our anniversary, and next week is his birthday. And my Mom’s birthday is this Saturday. So, I was thinking of combining them all next Saturday after N’s soccer game. Either do something here or go somewhere. You guys in? Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?”
I have a suggestion for her. Too bad I can’t actually share it.
Here’s the response that tried to happen when I read this:
“A, you know I love you right? I mean, I really love you. Like I love all my other daughters, I love you. But seriously? What makes you think that I (not to mention your father) would want to celebrate your mom’s birthday? Remember her? The woman who packed up and left him in the middle of the night while he was at work? Celebrate her birthday? Not in this lifetime!”
Okay, so that wasn’t exactly what went through my head. It was much worse! This is probably more along the lines of what would be appropriate:
“A, you know I love you right? I really love you. But I just have to say this. I have no desire to celebrate your mother’s birthday. I know she’s your mother and you love her; I have no problem with that. But it hurts your dad to have to spend time with her after the way she treated him, and that hurts me.”
But I won’t send that either. I’ll just grin and bear it and try to at least be civil.
S I G H.