Bubbe Out – Yes Again. Shut Up.

If you missed it last week, tomorrow I’ll be having knee replacement surgery.  I will probably not be back online for awhile but Hubs will be alerting some of youse out there when everything is over that I am A-OK.  Youse know who youse are. 😀

Tomorrow I’ll be sleeping in.  When I do wake up we’ll feed and walk our dogs, though probably not in that order. After grabbing a shower I’ll don my loosest, sloppiest yoga pants and a comfy shirt and Hubs will drive me to the ambulatory surgery center in Seattle.  Oh and I’ll have shoes on too I suppose.  This part went pretty much as planned last week.

Once checked in I’ll meet with the anesthesiologist to decide the best way to prevent pain during surgery.  This will not be like the nautral childbirths I had!   My vote is to be completely out but since we’ll be getting a late start (they want me to arrive at noon) that may not be possible.  As I’ve mentioned, I get pretty sick under a general anesthetic and it can take hours to recover.  One of my peeps over at the BoneSmart forums had a spinal and went home the same day.  She even had a shower when she got home!  I think I’ve also mentioned that I’m not fond of the idea of needles anywhere near my back.  But if they can give me some happy juice before the spinal I could see myself being persuaded; in principle anyway.  I know I’m a chicken so shut up.  They use general for outpatient surgery so the doc will be adding something extra to my IV mix before they bring me around to help combat the violent nausea I usually experience.  I feel so special!  Fingers crossed. 

Then I imagine Dr. W will come chat with me about the procedure and what to expect afterward.  At some point during the preparations someone will use a felt pen to put a big OBVIOUS mark on my right knee – I’m going to hold out for an emoticon ;).  I drew a happy face on the correct knee last week before we left home.  This week I plan to draw a happy face AND an arrow directing Dr. W to the lateral side of my knee!  No one wants to replace the wrong one!  Or even part of the wrong one.  I’ve been waiting for months to ask Dr. W if he has my bionic knee ready.  Unfortunately I’ve also been on the BoneSmart forums for months and that joke is older than dirt over there.  Dr. W has probably heard it at least a few dozen times.  So now I need to figure out something else clever to say.  I kind of like GhostCat’s suggestion to tell him to make sure it’s Three Laws Compliant.  Sorry if that doesn’t compute.  Go watch I, Robot. 

Since it’s possible I won’t be able to get back here to see comments before surgery I’m not really soliciting suggestions.  However, if you want to post something you think I should have said to make me laugh afterward, by all means have at it.  I’m sure I’ll appreciate the giggle.  When I eventually make it back online. 😀

Enjoy the rest of your summer peeps!  Bubbe out.  Again.

Seriously?

A funny thing happened on the way to surgery.  Not. 

Yesterday we drove in to Seattle and arrived at the surgery center early (go us!).  Upon entering the surgical suite we noticed that it looked like something out of a sci-fi movie, with spiraling yellow hoses trailing about and disappearing into walls and bulky machinery humming.  I have to say it gave me pause but the nurse/receptionist explained they’d had a flood when a pipe burst.  The alien equipment was there to dry out the drywall and prevent further damage. 

Because of their situation they took me to the recovery room to get ready.  Backwards I know, but so long as I could change from street clothes to hospital garb in private I didn’t think it mattered.  Attired in the fashionable backless gown and accessorized with the lovely robe (to cover the backless part thank you very much), I answered questions out the wazoo.  No I don’t have high blood pressure.  No I don’t smoke or do recreational drugs.  No I haven’t eaten anything in MORE THAN TWELVE FREAKIN’ hours!  No coffee either.  I think you can imagine the screaming headache I had.  Well, if you’re not a coffee drinker, probably not.  Trust me, this was migraine-level pain and there was nothing I could do about it except look forward to being put under.

The anesthesiologist, Dr. C came in and we discussed that procedure.  I explained how horribly sick I get and that the nurse had mentioned some kind of patch.  He agreed we could try that and said he’d also add some anti-nausea medicine to my IV toward the end.  So I was hopeful I wouldn’t be dry-heaving for hours afterward. 

Dr. W arrived looking sharp in street clothes.  I don’t know why I’d thought I was his second surgery of the day but apparently that was a misperception on my part.  He reviewed the chart notes, verified that the correct knee was marked and I had signed off that it was marked.  He signed the same form and stowed it back in the chart binder.  Then he proceeded to describe the incision he would make, showing us on my knee. 

I think I may have mentioned that the part of my knee they’re replacing is the outside or lateral part.  Probably in conjunction with saying that it is more common to replace the inside or medial part.  If something can be done the most unusual way leave it to me to do it that way.  So when Dr. W traced his finger along where he would make the incision – along the inside of my knee – I asked whether that was the right place for the lateral.  That made him pause and go back to the chart.  Everything in the paperwork said lateral as it should.  It’s just that the medial is the most commonly replaced side and when he scanned the chart in the first place he was confirming he had the correct leg (thank you!) but hadn’t immediately locked on the “lateral” aspect.  And thank goodness it came up.

Dr. W went to change into scrubs and the nurse came to take me to the OR where they started getting me ready.  A cuff of some kind was placed around the lower part of the opposite leg.  It operated automatically, puffing up like a blood pressure cuff around that leg and releasing.  I think it had something to do with circulation but heck, what do I know?  They stuck the patches all over for the EKG monitor and hooked up those wires.  Dr. C started an IV and would have switched it on to start putting me under except one of the OR nurses stopped him.  Apparently Dr. W wanted to speak with me again and asked that they not put me out yet. 

While waiting for Dr. W I let my eyes close and drifted, listening to the music they had playing (nice older stuff I recognized with pleasure) and looking forward to it being all over.  A few minutes later he came in covered head to toe in scrub gear so there was no indication everything wasn’t kosher.  Then he started talking and my eyes started leaking. 

When I’d reminded him earlier that we were replacing the lateral side of my knee he double-checked that they had the correct parts (I know, it sounds like we’re working on a car right?) and they didn’t.  Apparently the top part of the lateral is a match with the top part of the medial so they could use a medial they had on hand.  However, the bottom part is different and there is no substitution.  Surgery needed to be rescheduled.

The most frustrating part of this was that everyone kept saying it wasn’t their fault.  All the paperwork identified the part correctly as a lateral.  The file said lateral.  The requisition forms requested the lateral.  Turns out someone in the supplier’s office made this boo boo.  The supplier’s rep was on site and they actually brought him into the operating room to do a face-to-face mea culpa!  Like it would help me if I had someone to blame!  Someone is pounding on an anvil in my head they’re all worried about covering their collective asses. 

On a more positive note, the nurses were super!  One in particular went way above and beyond trying to help me feel better.  She brought me coffee and a small sandwich, hoping the caffeine and food would help alleviate the headache from hell.  Then when Dr. W said I could have a Celebrex she brought me that and a bottle of water.  She was so kind I had a difficult time controlling myself and did a lot of crying.  Why is it that when we feel lousy and someone is nice to us we break down?  I’ve never understood that but I’m grateful for her kindness and attention. 

So Bubbe is not out.  At least for a few more days.

Bubbe Out

Tomorrow I’ll be sleeping in.  When I do wake up we’ll feed and walk our dogs, though probably not in that order. After grabbing a shower I’ll don my loosest, sloppiest yoga pants and a comfy shirt and Hubs will drive me to the ambulatory surgery center in Seattle.  Oh and I’ll have shoes on too I suppose. 

Once checked in I’ll meet with the anesthesiologist to decide the best way to prevent pain during surgery.  This will not be like the nautral childbirths I had!   My vote is to be completely out but since we’ll be getting a late start (they want me to arrive at noon) that may not be possible.  As I’ve mentioned, I get pretty sick under a general anesthetic and it can take hours to recover.  One of my peeps over at the BoneSmart forums had a spinal and went home the same day.  She even had a shower when she got home!  I think I’ve also mentioned that I’m not fond of the idea of needles anywhere near my back.  But if they can give me some happy juice before the spinal I could see myself being persuaded; in principle anyway.  I know I’m a chicken so shut up. 

Then I imagine Dr. W will come chat with me about the procedure and what to expect afterward.  At some point during the preparations someone will use a felt pen to put a big OBVIOUS mark on my right knee – I’m going to hold out for an emoticon ;).  No one wants to replace the wrong one!  Or even part of the wrong one.  I’ve been waiting for months to ask Dr. W if he has my bionic knee ready.  Unfortunately I’ve also been on the BoneSmart forums for months and that joke is older than dirt over there.  Dr. W has probably heard it at least a few dozen times.  So now I need to figure out something else clever to say. 

Since it’s possible I won’t be able to get back here to see comments before surgery I’m not really soliciting suggestions.  However, if you want to post something you think I should have said to make me laugh afterward, by all means have at it.  I’m sure I’ll appreciate the giggle.  When I eventually make it back online. 😀

Enjoy the rest of your summer peeps!  Bubbe out.

Hell on Earth

What is up with the damn weather!?  This past weekend in the Evergreen State it was in the 90s!*  I know it’s August thank you very much.  But it’s Washington for heaven’s sake – it’s supposed to rain here!  Yeah, and then we’d have had sauna conditions so I guess it’s a good thing it stayed dry.  Well, the weather stayed dry.  Not me damn it.  I kept pouring down the water and it kept seeping out of my pores.  Okay, pouring out of my pores! 

Seriously, Saturday was so hot I barely moved till the sun went down.  Plus it was my first day without anti-inflammatory assistance so my knee was complaining. 

“Hey you!”

“Huh?”

“You!  You up there … where’s my pain meds?”

“Um.”  Am I not eloquent?  In my defense I’ve never had a conversation with my knee before.  It was a little unsettling.

“Helloooo?  You awake?  Get me some pain medication!”

“Uh, I already took the Tylenol.”

“Tylenol is a joke! Get me some Advil, stat!”

“Sorry about that.  Doctor’s orders.  We can’t have any more anti-inflammatories until after the surgery Thursday.”

“Wha?!?!!  Get that effin’ doctor on the phone!  I have some choice words for him!”

“Dr. W isn’t in the office on Saturday.”

It went downhill after that. 

 

 

*Look, I’m aware the East coast’s heat wave had much higher temperatures and I’m not trying to say we have it bad here compared to them.  I’m trying to say it’s hella hot here and I’m just not used to it!  So lighten up.

Um, yeah.

Oh my. 

Every morning I visit the website of a local newspaper to check out certain comic strips I like.  I’m a self-appointed morale booster on my floor at work, posting a cartoon on the fridge each day.  The chosen comic has to make me laugh out loud OR make me go “hmm”.  They’re usually single panel strips – hey folks have to be able to read it quickly since they don’t want to spend their entire break struggling with the fine print. 

But I’m not writing about comic strips today.  Earlier this week while perusing the comics I noticed a headline in the Most Read column to the right.  When I clicked through to the article I discovered it was all about weird things.  Twenty weird things as it happens.  Check it out here.  And you’re welcome.  Have a great weekend!

Bag of Awesome!

Yesterday I did something totally cool … I met Grammy in person!  You know…Grammy of gram-cracker.com!  She’s in town for a week or so visiting her daughter, Chef Vivi who I also got to meet!  To top it off I got to meet Grammy’s Hubs!!  Suhweet!  Could my day get any better?  We had lunch together and Grammy came bearing gifts:  a set of those lovely coasters she sells in her store.  Check them out here.  Mine are fashioned like the first set, with messages added in a lovely script: dream, faith, and so on.  Neat amiright? 

And then?  She pulled out this AWESOME bag stuffed to the gills (what the heck does that mean anyway?) with post-op entertainment!  There are two puzzles, a pegboard game, a Worry Doll, and some puzzle books (it’s about time I learned Sudoko).  On top of that?  There is a punching gadget to keep my Hubs in line during my recovery.  Seriously, this thing has a miniature boxing glove on the end of it and when you squeeze the handle it punches.  That will come in handy :D. 

It can be difficult to find a friend who really listens to you, who hears you.  Grammy is that kind of friend.  I think I mentioned awhile ago in a comment on her blog or one of the other Golden Girls’ blogs that I prefer dark chocolate.  It wasn’t a big deal and certainly not the focus of whatever we were talking about that day but she remembered it.  My bag of awesome included several types of dark chocolate from World Market!  I cannot wait to try the chipotle dark chocolate!!  Yowser!

To sum up:  Yesterday was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! 

Thanks Grammy, Luke and Vivi!