The kitchen in our office is more than adequate to keep the peons happy while we’re laboring away. Well, as happy as anyone can be working for The Man. There’s a side by side refrigerator/freezer with water and ice in the door. It’s not the firm’s fault I have to hold my nose when I retrieve my leftovers. We have a commercial coffee maker with a FREE SUPPLY OF STARBUCKS house blend to go in it. Personally, I’m not a fan of Starbucks, but for some people I guess it’s a big deal. I’d never heard of the dishwasher brand they installed: Asko. I’d give the dishwasher 3 and a half stars, only because things don’t always get dry. There’s even a full size microwave oven!
Having such a nice environment to nuke your leftovers, cook your frozen Marie Callendar’s or take a quick break is a plus in my book. I try to treat it like my own kitchen, wiping up after I splash water on the counter or spill something; rinsing and wringing out the sponge so it doesn’t get all gooky and smelly. You know, like that. And I’m not alone in my efforts to keep it nice. However, the neat freaks are outnumbered by the numbskulls who think the Kitchen Fairy will pick up after them.
Over the years we’ve posted some pretty obnoxious signs around the kitchen, hoping to shame the dolts who leave their half-empty coffee mug in the sink, or fail to wipe out the microwave when their lunch explodes. One of my favorites was, “Yo mama don’t work here. Pick up after yo own damn self!” Okay, it wasn’t quite that bad. It did say the reader’s mother didn’t work here. And to pick up their own mess. For some reason that one disappeared almost immediately. I couldn’t believe someone tore it down! So I made up a story about someone liking it soooo much they had to take it home. Yeah, I know I’m delusional. Then there was another one that said “Maid service is not provided. Please clean up after yourself.” That one wasn’t so bad, right?
Our most current sign posted adjacent to the microwave:
PLEASE be courteous and leave the microwave the way you’d like to find it.
The premise here of course is that most people would like to find the microwave C L E A N, am I right? And the wording of the sign is polite wouldn’t you agree? No more not-so-veiled references to the maternal unit. Mostly this one works. Better than previous incarnations of the same message at any rate. And no one’s torn this one down yet!
In the past I’ve posted cheesy signs with images of happy, dancing sponges with messages about dry sponges being happy, healthy sponges! Hoping the humor would get through to these um, co-workers. And still people leave the sponge dripping wet! Having given up on that lession I stopped using the communal sponge entirely. I keep my own sponge in the cupboard above the sink – I’m taller than average so I can reach it easily but it’s out of sight so no one else uses it. Now my hands don’t get that nasty stinky sponge smell!
One of the signs that’s lasted a really long time is In-the-rack-naphobia (Otherwise Known as Fear of the Dishwaser). Pretty self-explanatory right? But some of the drones among us still insist on leaving dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter. This peeves me muchly, especially when the dishwasher is RIGHT THERE!
What about those folks who open the dishwasher to put in their dirty stuff, find it full of clean dishes and do one of two things: add their dirty dishes just like they didn’t notice those sparkling clean items OR put theirs on the counter rather than unload said dishwasher. Seriously? Come on people! Would it hurt you to do the right thing?
Maybe it’s time for a new sign:
If anyone has any suggestions I can be reached at 1-800-yo-mamas.