Mmm dreamy…

Meh, not so much.

I’m sure my readers will agree that being late for work is not one of life’s more pleasant experiences.  Hey, watch that langauge!  Well, not only did I dream I was late for work, I dreamt I was lost in the city.  Weird.  The weirdest part though?  It wasn’t the city I work in but it was the same city I’ve dreamt about being lost in before.  I remembered buildings but I know I’ve never seen them before.  I wish I could remember them NOW to describe them so maybe I could figure out where they are in reality — IF they exist in reality.  I suppose they could be a figment. 

The next segment of the dream that I recall was at a fancy dinner table.  You know the kind I’m talking about:  elegant place settings of crystal, china and silver arranged on expensive linen with elaborate centerpieces.  This was probably inspired by the brunch cruise we enjoyed on Sunday.  The tables were lovely although the dishware wasn’t china nor were the glasses crystal.  Who in their right mind would use real crystal on a river cruise with clumsy landlubbers!?  However, tablesetting is where the similarities ended.  We did not have Don Johnson at our table on the ship. 

See?  I have the strangest dreams.  The fancy dinner was hosted by Don and Melanie (though I’m pretty sure they are no longer a couple – correct me if I’m wrong, I haven’t the time to look it up now).  While I don’t recall specific conversation I remember a vibe of anticipation.  Don and Melanie were awaiting important news of a financial nature and the dinner was intended to be a celebration of sorts.  Which in no way explains what I was doing there. 

Fade out from dinner with the Johnsons and I wake to my doorbell ringing.  Except I don’t have a doorbell.  Hubby and I traipsed through the dark house to open the front door and found a mousy little man on our doorstep.  (We don’t have a doorstep either; it’s a big deck.)  He was wearing something official looking, holding a clipboard and was surrounded by uniformed men; for some reason I assumed they were police. 

“I’m here to inspect your bathroom,” said the little man by way of introduction.  He flips up a page on the clipboard and makes a note.  “It would save a lot of time if you already have a state certificate.”

Wow.  Still dreaming.  Thank goodness!  This one I think I’ve figured out.  Yesterday we went to Lowe’s and while Hubby was looking for whatever it is that Hubbys look for at Lowe’s, I browsed around on my own.  I needed an air freshener refill for the kitty litter area and while tracking those down I found a new product by the folks who bring us Scrubbing Bubbles

After reading the package and deciding it was a cool idea (and on sale!) I did the grown-up thing and put it back.  We don’t really need it; I’m perfectly capable of scrubbing my bathroom, toilet and all.  But there must have been some regret; why else would I have dreamed someone wanted to inspect my bathroom!

When you read this I’ll be out of town … and probably my mind

I’d heard you could pre-write blog posts and WordPress would post them automatically and I finally took the time to figure it out.  If I did it correctly this should post Saturday, May 26 at 1:00 PM Pacific time.  You’ll be sure to let me know if you don’t see it by then won’t you?  Thanks.

So I’m gone because this is the weekend we’re going to Portland.  Almost a three hour drive to spend one night, take a brunch cruise on the river and come home the next day.  Sigh.  [Shakes it off.]  We’ll also probably play Phase 10 or something till maybe 10 PM Saturday night because that’s how we roll. 

I will have a good time!  The brunch menu sounds nice even though there are no meat choices that Hubs can eat :(:

Bagels Served with Cream Cheese
Fresh Vegetable & Cheese Display
Fresh Fruit Display
Pasta Salad
Mediterranean Salad
Mixed Baby Green Salad
French Toast with Maple Syrup
Black Pepper Bacon
Breakfast Link Sausage
Eggs Benedict
Country Style Potatoes with Bell Peppers and Onions
Spinach Manicotti with Marinara Sauce
Salmon Lox with Bay Shrimp
Assorted Desserts
Selected Beverages

Hubs has high uric acid which is exacerbated by certain foods such as most meat, salmon, and certain vegetables.  The term most people know is gout.  Gout is not fun.  When your uric acid level elevates to just the right place it crystalizes IN. YOUR. JOINTS.  I’ve heard it described as lots of stabbing needles IN. YOUR. JOINTS!  It took ten years but we’ve found the magic spell to prevent most gout attacks:  DON’T EAT MEAT (or anything else that tastes good).  Okay, that’s an exaggeration.  He can eat chicken and turkey, without the skin.  Yay.

We’ve become proficient at finding yummy substitutes.  There are some tasty chicken and turkey sausages in the supermarkets now (chicken and apple sausage is a favorite of mine).  But the cruise chef hasn’t stretched his culinary muscles that far yet.  So Hubs is going to be stuck with bread, cheese and fruit.  And maybe eggs, though I don’t think he’s fond of Eggs Benedict (yummo!).  I may have mentioned he’s Jewish?  (Ahem “Bubbe” blathers after all.)  So bagels will be welcome but he won’t be able to indulge in Lox to go with.  And the bacon and sausage will be no-nos.  Ditto the shrimp.  Maybe I’ll sneak in some of our sausage.

Besides the menu, the cruise itself could be fun I guess.  I’ve never been big on cruises though.  We did a five day cruise to Alaska a few years ago and until I found the library I wasn’t a happy camper …um… sailor or whatever.  I don’t gamble so the casino wasn’t attractive.  It was too cold to swim, even if there had been room (one of the ship’s pools was closed and the other was crowded with – ugh – children; which wouldn’t have been bad if they were mine).  We played cards one night which is always fun because everyone is so passionate about it.  There’s always a lot of swearing and threats and laughing.  I seem to recall we went to a show one night too, though I couldn’t tell you anything about it.  Memorable huh? 

The other Washington family who are going inquired about maybe caravanning down together.  Have I mentioned how much I love my husband?  He told them he wanted to be in Portland by noon or so.  They aren’t likely to be ready to leave until 11 AM so (keep your fingers crossed!) we should have some alone time on the way there and for a little while before anyone else gets there!  Well, as alone as you can be with two rowdy dogs in tow.   

Hope your Memorial Day weekend is going swimmingly peeps!  And don’t forget the reason behind the L O N G part. 

Many, many thanks to all service men and women — past, present and future.  We wouldn’t be here without you.  Lots of blessings on you and your families!  


DHFs (thanks Wily Guy)

Our youngest daughter K and her guy came over on Saturday to go with us to this huge pet fair at the park near our house.  It was a LOT of fun.  There were so many cool dogs!  And giant rabbits!  And parrots and reptiles and kitties!  Oh my!  Wish I’d remembered my camera.  We always enjoy hanging out with K & I; they have similar funny bones to ours so there’s a whole lotta laughin’ goin’ on when we’re all together.  When the walking finally took its toll on my knee and everyone else was pretty tuckered we headed back to our house where the “kids” cooked dinner for us as a belated Mother’s Day celebration.

Then we introduced them to Off Their Rockers and tried not to choke on the yummy tea cookies K whipped up for dessert!  So much laughter and carrying on that I hated to see it end.  But at nearly 11 pm it was time to clean the kitchen and say so long.

One of the best parts of the day was before they arrived.  I’m something of a neatnik when I know company is coming.  Usually I run around like a crazy person:  dusting; vacuuming; wiping down bathroom mirrors, sinks and cleaning other parts of the bathroom that guests might see.  I make sure all the dishes are washed and put away and the floors are swept and mopped.  I even prefer to have the laundry done – WTF?!  It’s a curse, carried over from living with one of the step-dads.

We’d go visit his sister where he’d lean in the doorway resting his hands on the top part of the frame.  Then he’d make a big show of holding up his dusty hands and making fun of his sister for having a dirty house.  Back at home my brother and I were tasked with cleaning our house so spotless his sister couldn’t pull the same stunt on him.  He was probably my least favorite of the step-dads.  Duh.

During the collapse of my first marriage and the early years after, house cleaning was my refuge.  It was the only thing I could control and most moments not spent at work were spent cleaning.  Even today as noted above, if I know someone is coming to visit I can go a little crazy.

So back to the point of this post – you thought I forgot didn’t you?  Nope, I just took the long way.  The best part of having the kids over Saturday was before they got there.  I got up early (hey, 7 is early for a Saturday, I’m not masochistic) and enjoyed my coffee and read a bit.  I think I went online for awhile.  A bit later I went to get Hubs up and moving.

Eventually I started thinking about the shape the house was in.  I’d done a quick wipe down in the guest bathroom the day before and emptied the trash.  In the living room there was visible dust on the media stand which is black lacquer and shows every.  damn.  mote.  I could see dog hair on the carpet.  And I did not go nuts.  I pulled out the Oreck, pushed it around the living room a little — more for me than for company, and called it a day.  NO DUSTING.  I didn’t wash the windows or mop the floors.

If it had been the other daughter or the SIL and MIL coming I don’t think I would have been so relaxed about it.  It reminded me of this post by the Wily Guy over at It’s MY Mind.  I guess I have DHFs too; three when we add in my BFF.  DHFs rock.  Thanks Wily Guy for reminding me.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Blessings – count ’em

I do a LOT of whining here on my blog.  Hell, it’s MY blog, I can whine if I want to.  But sometimes I forget to look past what I’m whining about and just be thankful for my blessings.  What?  I do too have blessings, in spite of all the whining I do!  Look, I’ll show you

Blessing the first:  my job

Truly this is a blessing, especially these days.  I’ve worked as a legal secretary for 26 years (OMG, really?) and I’ve always been able to keep a roof over my head (well, there was that whole losing the farm thing last year, but I DO still have a roof) and food in the house (dog food counts right?  Hey, they have to eat too!).  Over the years I’ve never made a boo boo that got anyone in trouble with the court; I was nearly always polite to the inmates’ family members when they called (that’s a post for another day); and I have been so blessed by the attorneys I have worked with.  One of them helped me when I was ending my first marriage.  Another brought me a gorgeous rug back from her trip to Turkey!  Still another gives me red wine (2 bottles!) for Christmas every year.  Besides the obvious material benefits, they’ve all been really nice people. 

2nd Blessing:  my blogging “family”

I am so very grateful for my blogging buddies.  They (YOU, since you might also be my only readers) made me feel right at home when I started out.  Even when I spend all my time whining, they’re in my corner – and no they aren’t trapped there; they could leave if they wanted to, so there!  Not only do they read my words (I started to add “of wisdom” but didn’t think that was applicable) but they comment (♥ comments!) and give me advice or encouragement or comfort OR ALL THREE!  See? Blessings!  My blogging family includes JoGrammy, Dana, Pamela, Gia and RJ.  If by some chance you’re reading this and you are NOT familiar with them, check them out; they’re totally worth it!

Blessing numero tres:  no peri-menopausal mustache!

Seriously peeps, this is a HUGE blessing!  Recently I was reading another blog (sorry, I can’t remember which one, I follow too dang many blogs!) and one of the commenters talked about her peri-menopausal mustache — or maybe she said she didn’t have one.  Have I mentioned my short term memory disability?  In any case, seeing her mention it made me realize how smoothly my peri-menopause has gone overall.  Sure, I have the occasional hot flash and I wake up almost nightly now soaking wet from night sweats (sometimes more than once).  But I have NO MUSTACHE!  Or other unwanted hair showing up!  Woo hoo!!

So there you have it, 3 of my top blessings.  That’s not including the love of my life or my children and grandchildren who are all blessings.  No really, they ARE!  And then there are my dogs and my cat – yay for unconditional love!  Well, okay not from the cat so much but she blesses me in other ways.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 

And now for something completely different


Seriously, how am I supposed to stretch my writing skills if all I ever do is write about family drama?  Sheesh. 

Next weekend we’re supposed to go to Portland and spend the night Saturday (about – 2 1/2 hours away) as a late Mother’s Day gathering.  The niece/granddaughter who lives there couldn’t make it up here for the actual holiday.  Or maybe she was visiting her mama.  [shrugs]  In any case, SIL, MIL, daughter and grandson are all going.  I wanted to bow out because the Ex is likely to make an appearance; she lives in Oregon after all.  But MIL insists and with Dad so recently gone how do we say ‘no, thank you’.  So Hubs hunted down a Motel 6 that will let us bring our dogs and we began exploring the possibility of renting a more fuel efficient vehicle for the trip. 

Just a few minutes ago I received an email from SIL.  “I’m booking a brunch cruise (for that Sunday) and wanted to be sure you guys were still going.”  I told her yesterday or the day before that Hubs had reserved a room for us so that should have told her something right?  But I guess when there is no refund for cancelling it’s better to be safe than sorry.  I confirmed it but then after sending the email realized we can’t go on a cruise because we’re taking our dogs with us and there’s nowhere to leave them for three hours.  I doubt they’d be welcome aboard the ship. 

It would have been nice to have some advance warning.  As it is, if reservations aren’t made today we may miss the boat (heh heh); this cruise apparently sells out pretty quickly.  Personally?  I’d rather hug everyone goodby at the dock and head for home early.  Oh sure, they serve free champagne on this cruise which is cool.  But that’s all I’d need — to load up on that and let fly uninhibitedly.  I could even unmask Bubbe and that would be bad.  So, so bad. 

What would the world be like without family drama?  I’m asking seriously.  I’d love to know what a drama-free life would be like.