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Ice Ice Bubbe

So.  This is how it ends.  I’m going to freeze to death in my pitch black bathroom. 

Four days earlier I was cruising around Pasadena with my brother.  The car windows were cranked ALL the way down and I was basking in the Southern California sunshine with the wind in my hair.  It was probably somewhere in the upper 60s temperature-wise and the sky held no trace of the infamous smog.  Perfection.  Especially when home was inundated with a snowstorm so severe my office didn’t open for business.  It takes a helluvalot for the Powers That Be to refuse to open the office.

I was in SoCal to testify at a preliminary hearing.  My part in the hearing finished earlier and we stuck around till the lunch break.  Now we’d escaped the courtroom and the press, and were trying to find our way back to my hotel.  I wasn’t too eager to give up the lovely ride so it didn’t phase me when we realized we were going to the wrong way and had to change direction. 

A few hours later we’d had lunch, met with the adopted sister of our brother and I’d been dropped at the airport two hours early.  To catch a flight which was soon running two hours late damn it.  I landed in Seattle in the wee hours to discover I was still dressed for sunshine and 60s while the temps there were 40s and the slush was ankle deep!  Harsh awakening.

Thursday the weather kept our office closed and I took pleasure in visualizing gnashing teeth in the home office.  About mid-morning we lost power, not something we expected in the “city”.  On our farm it was a given that we’d be without power at least once each winter, so we were a little better prepared.  In the new place, not so much.  I couldn’t find the oil lamps and we have only electric heat so that was going to be a challenge.  But hey, we had water!  Cold water, but still!  Our farm was on a well, when the power failed we’d have to haul water for every damn thing. 

Also, we use a MagicJack so with the power out and the computers down we had no land line.  Then our cell service also bit the dust and we had no way to check on other family members. 

The next couple of days passed in a dream-like state.  We took the dogs out to find somewhere safe to walk them and to get warm in the Suburban’s rockin’ heater.  Traffic lights worked in one block but not the next.  Broken tree limbs were strewn everywhere; some trees were even uprooted.  Fallen limbs had taken out fences, broken through roofs and littered the streets.  The storm’s devastation was frightening.  At night we’d huddle under a pile of comforters, both dogs and occasionally the cat adding to the body heat.  We were loath to start each day because it meant climbing out of cozy warmth into frigid air. 

Which brings us to Sunday.  Nature’s call this morning is impossible to ignore any longer and I grab a flashlight on my stumbling way to the bathroom.  I manage not to scream when I come in contact with the icy seat, take care of my business and prepare to exit.  The door will not open.  No five words have ever sounded so loud and ominous in my head.  I tried again, twisting the knob the other way.  No luck.  One more time I turn the knob and feel the internal workings snap free.  Uh oh.  Now I’m starting to freak a little and I begin yanking on the door while twisting the unresponsive knob.  And cursing loud enough to wake the dead, or in this case Hubs. 

He calms me down and goes in search of a tool or three to take off the doorknob.  I sit on the commode to wait.  My flashlight is fading and I turn it off to conserve battery life. 

So.  This is how it ends. 

Obviously it didn’t end that way; I’m here writing about it.  I hope it made the reader smile at least.  After the fact we found it pretty hilarious.

10 thoughts on “Ice Ice Bubbe

  1. Hahahah that is terrible!!!! I’m glad hubby freed you. What if that happened to me and roommate was gone for the weekend?! I need to bring my phone with me to the bathroom always.

  2. “Here lies Lori. We had to bury her with the toilet since she died with her tushy frozen to it. She’ll be greatly missed, as will the toilet…”

    Classic!

  3. Bubbe, SO glad you are okay…despite being locked in a cold bathroom with a flashlight with low batteries!

    Between the trial, riding thru Pasadena with the wind in your hair, to being locked in a dark bathroom…sounds like a damn good book! Get movin’ girlie! 😉

  4. Mostly back to normal Dana though last night there was one heckuva nasty storm with rain and wind – did not lose power! Go us!

    Jo – yup, busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger! And grateful we didn’t have trees come down ON the house 🙂

    Thanks Pamela; I’ve actually started one or two books over the years. Then the Procrastination Fairy visits and I can’t figure out where to go next. Or maybe that’s the Writer’s Block Fairy. Hmm.

  5. Squueeeee! You have FAIRIES? As in….more than ONE? I’m so jealous. All I have is the Bullshit Fairy and she smacks me in the head with her wand every time she thinks that I’m B.S.ing….which is all the time. Good think she’s tiny. The bitch.

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