The email came in while I was at lunch. I recognized the sender’s name although I’ve never met her. She wants to know my office address; it looks like we’re going to be closing very soon – maybe even today. This is only the umpteenth time she’s said we’re close to the end. So why this time was my lunch suddenly sitting like a lead weight in my stomach? Why were unshed tears burning behind my eyes? My brain was foggy and I responded almost incoherently to one of the attorneys who spoke to me. I saw the next email, from theindicating she’d email over the papers for me to sign if I was comfortable with that. Sure, I replied back while inside I wondered, “What if I’m not okay with that?”
It wouldn’t matter. The alternative would be that they bring them in person. Either way I have to sign them. This is So. Fucking. Hard. I was able to put it away for so long and now it’s back in my face, waiting to take me down into a black spiraling hole. I managed to check off some of the stuff remaining on my to-do list and it’s a good thing they were mindless chores. I’m not sure I would have been able to handle much more.
The papers arrived in another email and I printed them a few minutes later. I don’t know what I expected. Certainly not so few pages. When you’re signing your life away for your mortgage or refinance you go through endless stacks of paper. When you’re losing everything shouldn’t it be at least that complex? I read the documents in between trying to do actual work. There was nothing surprising so I signed or initialed where I was supposed to. Until I got to the statutory warranty deed. Glitch.
Nothing serious in the grand scheme of things, but I shot an email off to the lawyer immediately because I couldn’t sign it as-is. She emailed back a short time later that she’d take care of it. Several minutes ticked by slowly. I’d previously advised them both I was leaving the office early and that time was approaching. Finally, I put everything I had signed in aenvelope and put in the outgoing mail basket for pick up. I sent another email reiterating that I had to leave or miss my train and we’d have to finish this Monday.